I don’t have any funny stories from yesterday or today, but I figured that’s no reason for you as the reader to suffer! Here is a stroll down memory lane for you all. Enjoy!
Approximate date: December 2001
Jackie, myself, Mike, Lindsay, Katie and some other people decided to head to the Witches Brew one night. (For anyone who has not had the pleasure of visiting this fine establishment, it’s a goth-ish coffee shop that serves various coffee drinks, teas, and desserts. mmmm. Its pretty dimly lit with candles, and the chairs that you sit in range from antique looking couches to dining room type chairs, etc. The tables are either coffee tables or tables for 2. The staff is hit or miss – you will either get a super nice staff person to wait on you or an elitist scenester who won’t want to help you because you don’t meet the tattoo number criteria to receive good service. Also, let’s be real: it’s just way cooler to act like a total f*ckbag then to be polite and respectful.) There’s typically an interesting crowd there and I had not been there in literally years so we decided to grab some coffee and goodies.
We were sitting down near a window. There were at least 6-7 of us. We were having a good time, as usual. Katie spotted a dude that she knew (from…somewhere, I don’t remember where.) Interestingly enough, he also happened to be a boy that I found to be cute. Picture it: buzzed head, plugs in his ears along with a barbell or two, septum piercing, and ‘punk rock’ clothing (i.e. APPEARED that he made it himself.) We actually didn’t talk very much: we just made eyes at one another.
Finally, his group/friends/just him were leaving. He walked over to me and introduced himself, and then asked for my number. I gave it to him and that was that. I was completely surprised, but it was definitely pleasant. He did call and we talked on the phone a bit. I tell you, the boy did not shut up. I barely got two words in. He talked a lot about himself and did not ask much about me, but I figured he was probably nervous and things would be different on our date, which we set for 1-2 evenings later.
The night of the date comes. If I remember correctly, he was supposed to call me to confirm a definite time. About an hour before the tentative time we set, I called him to see what was going on. He was there, but I woke him up. He was pretty groggy and did not sound terribly excited about our date. Again, trying to remain positive I thought about how I probably would not sound all that thrilled had I just been ripped from my sleep, so I overlooked it and picked him up about an hour later.
Note: The rest of the description of the date took 2 hours in its entirety. That includes pickup, driving, deciding, etc. Everything – 2 hours!!!
I pulled up to his parents’ house, he exited the house and got into the car. He kinda mumbled a hi and for the next 15 minutes we tried to decide where to go. He was very apathetic. We finally decided on The Cup (another coffee shop, only way more mainstream and normal.)
We went, sat down, looked at the menu and ordered. He played with the wax on the candle in the middle of the table A LOT. This was definitely the most difficult part of the date. When I say I tried to make conversation I mean that I REALLY tried. I asked him everything I could think of to get some type of conversation going. School, work, family, you name it!
Me: So, what are you doing now? Working? School?
Him: Nothing. I’m not doing anything.
Me: …ok. Well what do you want to do? Is there a job you really want? Something you really want to study in school?
Him: No. I don’t really care about school or work.
PAINFUL!!! This was the point when I knew things were definitely going downhill. I got desperate so I tried to bring up controversial topics that typically stir up SOME kind of feeling, passion or emotion.
Me: So…what’s your view on the dealth penalty?
Him: I don’t really care….I don’t really care about anything.
Still playing with the wax on the candle.
Now, when I say that he responds with ‘I don’t really care’ it’s not that kind that’s engaged in the conversation, but very laid back. It’s lethargic. Lazy. A lump of crap who obviously has no motivation, and just sits back in its chair. I also had a feeling that this boy had been handed everything his whole life. I could especially tell this because when I’d picked him up earlier in the evening I was expecting to pull up in a less than affluent neighborhood and his parents home looked exactly like all the spoiled kids in my own hometown. I also found this to be humorous because he tried so hard to look punk rock, and let’s face it: typically and traditionally, punk rock is not based on wealth. Anyone I’ve ever met who was into that scene doesn’t shower, makes their own clothing and lives in low budget homes, if they even have one.
At this point I knew conversation was a lost cause. We probably spent maybe 45 minutes in the coffee shop, and that’s being generous. I thought as the night went on that he would become more talkative. After all, on the phone he didn’t give me a chance to get a word in. It’s like I was on a date with his mute twin. Fine, he just woke up from a nap but doesn’t coffee usually wake most people up? We left The Cup, got into the car and I asked what he wanted to do next. He said he really didn’t care. (I know you’re all shocked by this.)
I’ll admit that I still thought he was cute at this point. I thought to myself, For f*ck’s sake, even if we can’t talk can we at least makeout? Obivously, we’re never going to make it when it comes to a relationship. We should both walk away from this date with at least SOMETHING! Maybe I should have made the first move, but I would think no matter how lazy a guy is, if he wants that he’ll go for it. Needless to say, he did not and I started driving. I suggested pool, driving around, going to the water, etc. He didn’t reject the idea, but he didn’t come up with any on his own. We drove around for about 20 minutes and then I decided to throw in the towel. I offered to drive him home and he said he was pretty tired and should probably get going home. I pulled up to his house, we did the awkward hug goodbye and I left.
I went home, called Ben and told him about it, and spent the rest of the night hanging out with him.
