People are always encouraging you to talk about your feelings. I’m not so sure this is the best bet…not for me at least. I’ve noticed that, at least when it comes to things that are bothering me, it only seems to make it worse for me to talk about it. I get all fired up, sometimes fuming, and I end up just getting madder. I can’t understand why that is.
I’m really starting to wonder if I should just try to shake it off/ignore it, but that’s always been so against everything I’ve come to believe about human beings. You can’t hold any type of relationships (be it romantic or platonic) without open communication. Is is that I dwell on the negative so frequently that it actually ends up not venting, but just further adding fuel to the fire?
I had a conversation with my today the place I am in with my job, my 2 year review is next week and I’m honestly afraid that my supervisor won’t be willing to do what I need to be mentally healthy, but rather tell me that I can either do the job she needs me to do or leave the company. Of course I’m building this all up in my head, assuming that this is how it will go. For all I know, she plans to tell me to get back to that work I was doing before. I have no idea what will happen, but I just want to be prepared for any number of things that she may say to me.
In other news, it is day 5 of no meat eating. I know, I know – you all can pick up your jaws that just dropped to the floor. I decided to go on a month trial of a vegetarian diet. I can’t say that I’m craving it or that I feel like my life is lacking. I know I’m seriously going to have to step up my protein and iron game. I’ve been taking iron pills, which I’m hoping will definitely help. I also make it a habit to eat leafy veggies. We shall see how this pans out for the month.
How did this all come about, you ask? I started reading a book called, Skinny Bitch. At first I assumed that it would merely be a buttload of “Eat this, don’t eat that” stuff, but mostly fluff that I already knew. The 2 women who wrote it basically seem like they were tired of hearing overweight or unhappy women bitch and moan about being overweight, yet would not stop eating crap or get their ass to the gym. Being a “tell it like it is” woman myself, I thought this book was right up my alley. Unbeknownst to me, that they actually go into detail and explain WHY you should not eat crap, exactly how crap is broken down in your body and prevents you from losing weight, etc. It’s clear from the reading that they did a great deal of research from a ton of sources to get the information they included in this book.
They also went into detail about factory farming and what happens to animals who are killed at these factory farms. It was very upsetting and disturbing to read. They also included quotes from people who worked on said factory farms about what they did to the animals, what they saw and what they saw others do. VERY GRAPHIC, and really gross. They discuss the hormones that are pumped into these animals, as well as how pesticides and all kinds of chemicals get absorbed into their skin, etc. which endds up being what we eat. They also go on to talk about what happens to the cows that are milked, and how they are hooked up to machines that milk them. They are not gentle with them, and even if a cow gets an infection in its udder it continues to milk them, and any impurities (bacteria, pus, etc.) going into the milk that comes out of them. I’m not doing much justice with this description but it really made me step back and think. I figured I didn’t want to just take my opinion from one source so I went online and saw video clips of how these animals are killed on a factory farm.
G-R-O-S-S and inhumane!!
I will keep educating myself and see at the end of this month how I’m feeling. Maybe I’ll decide to do this full time, maybe I’ll just incorporate meat in every so often, or maybe I’ll go back to the way I was. I don’t know – I just am trying to do whatever I can to be as healthy as possible.
